WHY TODAY'S PARENTS ARE ALL STRESSED OUT, & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Post Written by Judy Keech

If you are the parent of an adolescent, and especially if you have more than one, chances are you are stressed out. Right now. Right now you are totally stressed out. STRESSED OUT!!! Or you are in denial--a whole other issue I promise to discuss later.

Face it. Balancing work, home, church, sports, theater, dance, speech therapy, tutoring, girl scouts, boy scouts, field day, testing days, parent/teacher conferences, grocery shopping, birthday parties, pool parties, play dates….You are STRESSED OUT!!!  

"Knock, knock, knock...Mommy?...Knock, knock, knock...Mommy?...KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK...MMMMOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

See what I mean?

Well, it's no wonder. It's this world we live in; this world we've created for ourselves. We are so socially networked, overly protective, safety conscious to a ridiculous fault, bad-parent/good-parent indoctrinated, accountable to countless "experts"that have nothing to do with our actual lives, not to mention the image of the perfect parent...or even worse, the BEST-PARENT-EVER image we have concocted for ourselves.  It's a miracle if parents today maneuver through the kids-in-school era without completely losing their grip on reality.

So what can I do about it?! 

Here are 5 things that parents can do to de-stress.

1. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS...OF YOURSELF.

Seriously, if your expectations of you as a parent aren't brought into reality you will constantly be stressed out, unfulfilled, frustrated, angry, on Xanex.  God and everyone else knows you have kids, wild kids, so lower the bar just a tad to allow for stuff "undone" in your household. Give yourself Kudos if your kids eventually go to bed during the dark hours, fed and in jammies.

2.  ANNIHILATE THE SOCCER MOM PERSONA.

Let's look at this carefully. God never said, "Let there be soccer." Nor did the universe conspire this elaborate plot to make you fail as a parent if your kids aren't enrolled in sports, do gymnastics, go to dance class, and star in the Little Miss Pageant.  Unless your hubby makes his living as a Jr League Soccer Coach cut yourself some slack. Brilliant, accomplished, well-rounded, talented, exceptional individuals didn't all play soccer. 

Answer me this; how many hours a week can you free up for yourself and your family if your kids are NOT enrolled in organized community sports activities they probably aren't completely excited about anyway? Maybe it's time to give it a seasonal rest. 

You know what you need to do.

3.  MAKE GOD and HIS PLAN for YOUR FAMILY the MOST IMPORTANT THING.

Ok, I have to admit here that this is a magic "get-out-of-jail-free" card.  Not that I have ever blamed God for the difficult decisions made that affected my family, but the whole family following God's plan certainly alleviates the stress brought on by managing the life of my children all by myself.  It's called REST. "Resting in the Lord".  Rest. Ah. Isn't that better?

When our children were small my husband and I prayed a quick prayer with them before taking them to school.  It made them aware of God's presence throughout their daily activities.  You may be surprised how much stress you can relieve in yourself and your home simply by praying together, out loud. Whatever it is you may face that day, it will remind you "God's got this". 

4. LOCK THE DOOR--TAKE CARE OF YOU

Your kids do not have to have access to your person 24/7.  Establish a DAILY private mommy time away from your kids, husband, bills, phone calls, text messages, emails, and other responsibilities.  I have to give my husband credit here, he totally protected my daily mommy time away from everything else.  For me it was bath time. A good, long soak in sudsy bliss. Door shut, locked, music playing.  It was usually only 45 minutes at the most, but it belonged completely to me, absent kids knocking on the door, absent any outside distractions. THIS ALONE probably saved me from a prescription drug habit. Just saying. Thank you, Hubby. You saved "us".  Mommy sang much more peaceful lullabies after her bath.

I understand a lot of you out there are single parents. In that case utilize the favorite Disney Babysitter.  Even the most watched video can typically buy you 30 minutes of zone out time.

Take care of you. You need it, so does your family.

5.  SET A BETTER ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR HOME.

This is a great time to take an assessment of the typical atmosphere in your home.  Years from now...and they come more quickly than you can imagine!...what will your kids reminisce about your homestead? Is there constant yelling? Conflict? Stress? Anxiety? "Clean up your room! Get your homework done!! What did you do to your sister?!"  Don't get me wrong, your kids should be held accountable for their own messes and behavior, but the actual atmosphere of your household should be one of reassurance, encouragement, grace, love, joy, patience, kindness...you get the picture. Pay attention to this: it is NOT a reason for you to excuse your child's bad behavior. It IS a reason to teach your child about God's grace, love, compassion, forgiveness, purposes, intentions.  Your kids deserve to know there is a bigger picture than just whatever they feel and experience at the moment.

It is important to make a note to self right here...

"Self, if you decide to take on the soul responsibility of setting a better atmosphere in our home because you-are-the-only-one-capable-of-making-this-happen, you will likely relapse into that dang BEST-PARENT-EVER syndrome yet again." 

Let me make this clear.  Every person in your household should be accountable to one another to keep the undercurrent of contentment, the pursuit of enjoying life today, no matter what.

Shalom, y'all!