Supermarket Meltdown

The Simple Guide to TANTRUM Prevention 

while Shopping with Your Child 

Contrary to a popular belief that all children are born angels (who in their right mind would come up with that?

Have you ever been in a room full of toddlers? One might think he had slipped into an evil pit of selfish opportunistic egomaniacs. “Mine!! MINE!!!”, not my definition of angelic…nuf said) the Bible teaches we are ALL born in SIN. We all have need of redemption, and your precious little angel is no exception. 

I truly believe you get me on this, especially if you have ever found occasion to abandon your half filled grocery cart in the frozen food section to escort your kicking-screaming-spewing Mini-Me to an undisclosed secure location until the threat of all out war dissipated. If it makes you feel any better, been there, done that. 

So, what’s a mom to do in this age of fear of being reported by a stranger for child abuse if she takes control of her ballistic child in a public place? What recourse does a parent have?  I can say with confidence if you follow this simple prevention guide there is hope for a non-traumatic excursion for the apprehension of daily bread. 

1. START AT HOME

I have often marveled at young parents who allow excessive screaming at home as an acceptable release for their child’s frustrations. Let’s be clear on one thing…your #1 job as a parent is to TRAIN your child, and this includes proper behavior, even at home. Every parent is a trainer. You are either a bad trainer, or a good trainer. If you are training your child that ranting is okay at home, you are training your child that ranting is okay, period! So, start at home by employing guardrails to your child’s emotional outbursts. ~Maybe, right now you are thinking, “I don’t even have guardrails on my OWN emotional outbursts.” Perhaps we should cover that in another blog.~

Meanwhile, here’s a simple suggestion borrowed from my eldest daughter. When her young sons began to display uncontrolled emotional outbursts at home, she began to utilize a technique (possibly borrowed from military bootcamp although she was never actually in the military, but it worked)… She required the ranting son to stand at attention with his hands raised above his head repeating the phrase “Praise the Lord!” until he could chant it without malice. Just a suggestion, but you can use your creativity to come up with something just as effective that suits your needs without ever  laying a hand on your child. 

2. BE CONSISTENT

Consistency is vital. Although it seems preposterous, your little babe will quickly learn what makes you cave. It’s amazing how they can zone in on our weak areas of parenting and play upon our heart strings to evoke our feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Crazy! It happens to the best of us, so don’t feel condemned if you have fallen for this. But now is the time to take a stand! Don't be fooled! Be consistent! 

The reality is our children actually CRAVE the discipline, and guardrails, and safety nets, and security that comes from our concrete, sold-out values as a parent. When we compromise those values for the sake of our own guilt we have sold our kids short. Be consistent. 

3. BE IN AGREEMENT

This applies if you are married, or have a secondary person assisting you with childcare. The rules should be understood and applied by all. I realize just by making this statement some of you are tempted to shut this down right now and read no further…”no way can I make agreement happen”, but I implore you to stay with me. When you truly understand the ‘why’ you can confidently influence those who help you care for your kids. 

Understanding the ‘why’… Perhaps that is another blog.  If you need help with this, message me. I can help you come into unity on this matter. 

A unified front is like a fortified, un-penetrable wall to your child. 

4. HAVE A CONSEQUENCE

If your child is to take you seriously in Safeway, it is necessary to set some things in order firstly. Do you have a consequence for bad behavior set in place at home, that extends to public exertions?  Or do you succumb to your child’s rantings with rewards… "if you stop screaming I will give you some ice cream"…? Or, are you just ignoring their uncontrolled emotional outbursts…”Mommy just doesn’t want to deal with that right now”…? Then how can you expect exemplary behavior from your child while you are in public? If you EVER expect your child to behave well in a public setting you need to pay attention to this much deserved advice. 

Truth be told, in today’s culture there are little consequences, unless you screw up royally with the legal system. After all, this is the age of “every child deserves a trophy regardless of performance”. (Oh please, spare me.)  I believe if you as  parent begin at home to implement obligatory consequences for your child’s behavior and attitudes you not only assure your child’s success in this ‘World System’ he is required to adhere to, but to some degree at least, you may even free up some valuable hours, hence revenue, in our judicial system, and save your child from a dreadful life of incarceration! Win-win! Have a consequence! Please! (May I also submit to you that it is far more beneficial to you as a parent if you and your spouse make decisions on your consequences ahead of time, and in agreement—i.e. see point #3.) 

5. REVEL IN THE SUCCESS

Wow! You did it! You went shopping, your child tried to act up, you implemented #1-4 and, OH-MY!!!! It worked! You actually enjoyed the experience! Yes, it really works. Much to my amusement and joy, ALL of my children, once grown into adults, made certain to inform their dad and me that they really appreciated the consequences we imposed on them as children. They grew up to be well adjusted, accomplished, and beyond that, able to extend grace and understanding towards others to whom they are in relationship. It works. This really works, and YOU can do this!  You can be a successful parent!  You can have amazing, well-adjusted kids who grow up into world changers!  

Start Now!  Start at home! Be consistent! Be in agreement! Have a consequence! And revel in the success!